Strolling Down Memory Lane

For reminders of God's faithfulness, almost nothing beats looking back on the other times He's shown up. I wanted to repost a blog entry I wrote over 4 years ago about God's Fireworks...but it was in my old Myspace account, which I haven't touched in at least 2 years... so I had to contact tech support, send a picture of myself holding up three fingers and a piece of paper with my old url...yeah it was strange...but it was all worth it, getting to read my old blogs!

I'm going to recycle some of them over the next few days only because they are still so relevant! I'm not going to edit them...(I found some errors, so that will be hard...) I don't want to alter what was written. Yes, I'm weird like that, please forgive me for it. But this one is one of my favorites. May it remind us of just how big God really is.

From July 3, 2006
God's Fireworks

I was sitting in my room doing some knitting (yes, I knit...I'm working on an American Flag for my room...how appropriate for July 4th, right?), when I heard (and saw, a bit) what sounded like some great fireworks....so I went outside to see them.

Now where I live, you don't have to spend any money to go see fireworks...in my neighborhood, everyone around me does them...so all you have to do is stand out on the front lawn (or in the street if you're brave/dumb enough) and watch the fireworks all around you.

Well, I was watching the fireworks...they were very beautiful. They weren't el cheapo...they were really nice...sparkly and colorful...saw a few red/white/blue ones and a few cream/white ones...really pretty...then, I heard some huge fireworks starting up...but I saw nothing...then it was silent...I was getting a bit bored...I thought, "ok these people are going to go to bed now...it is past 10p.m. and July 4th isn't till tomorrow...plus its starting to rain." And with that...the ENTIRE SKY filled with light!

The next hour proceeded in the same way...a few fireworks...silence...then massive flashes of light that took up almost the entire sky...

My ex-fiance used to say that lightning was God's fireworks show. Although he turned out to be a jerk and we broke up about 3 months of engagement...that's one thing I'll never forget that he said. Everytime I see a firework I think to myself...yeah that's pretty...its neat how we figured out how to get that to work...but then I see lightning...and I'm left speechless...Its God's way of going..."yeah let me play too! Here are my fireworks! Hope you like them!" It was like "battle of the lights." God obviously won.

We use fireworks on the Fourth of July to remember the battles that were fought for our independence from England. While the canons and rifles didn't leave lovely colorful flowers of sparks in the sky, the sound and flash remind us of the explosions and the sounds of battle. They remind us of our independence as a nation.

But the lightning reminds me of my dependence on God as my protection and strength. As human beings, we are not "independent." Although we want to believe that with age comes independence, we are still dependent on God. We may want to convince ourselves that we are independent, but as believers, we do know better. We are fully dependent on God for all of our provision, strength, peace, purpose, joy, and love. We are always in God's Mercy.

Remember every time you see a flash of lightning, remember these verses...

Job 36:26-33
How great is God - beyond our understanding! The number of his years is past finding out. "He draws up the drops of water, which distill as rain to the streams; the clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind. Who can understand how he spreads out the clouds, how he thunders from his pavilion? See how he scatters his lightning about him, bathing the depths of the sea. This is the way he governs the nations and provides food in abundance. He fills his hands with lightning and commands it to strike its mark. His thunder announces the coming storm; even the cattle make known its approach.

And my favorite one!
Job 38:33-35
Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God's dominion over the earth? "Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?

Happy 4th of July to all of you!
Next time you see fireworks,
remember that

God is the Ultimate Firework Technician!

Also...watch this video. It gives you an idea of what I'm talking about here.

(It's kinda long but you'll get the whole idea between 3:00 and 4:10, so fast forward to it and enjoy!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS9vBf0VXWQ

The Dessert In the Desert

Ok...I'll admit this entry won't be fuzzy wuzzy like my cloud gig... but it is what it is, and I promise it will be orth your time.

I've been reading through the Bible in 90 days... on Biblegateway.com (my favorite website, hands down), it is one of the reading plans. I have never gotten this far into it. I usually get through Exodus and I exodus outta there... Just too many nitty gritty details...and let's not get into Leviticus...or worse, Numbers! Sheesh!!!

Well this time I've so far made it through to Judges (I'm about two weeks behind, between getting sick and being at camp), and it's been an amazing journey!

Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic here, but I honestly feel like the Israelites...wandering the wilderness. I was in a horrible situation with my family, and God delivered me from it, but now I feel like I'm wandering that seemingly pointless wilderness between the bad and the promise. I have so many hopes and dreams that, only with God on my side, can be reached! So much potential! So much...future!

So much to thank God for for delivering me from the past. Dark depression, low self esteem, poor self-image and extreme stress and anxiety were all left on the altar of the LORD and are just part of my past. By His Grace, I'm never going back to any of it!

But here I am, stuck in the middle...not getting much of anywhere... it can be very discouraging (I just hope it won't be 40 years!), and disheartening most of the time!

But then I came across a gem of a verse in Joshua. At the end of their long journey, the writer says, seemingly in conclusion to the whole messy, five-book-long story, that

"Not one of the LORD'S good promises to the house of Israel failed;

every one was fulfilled." (Joshua 21:45)

So I'm taking hold of that verse. God is a promise-keeping kind of God. He has promised that if we delight in Him He will give us the desires of our heart.

And I wish I could sit here and tell you all the great stories of how He's done that! (of course for sakes of time, and confidentiality, I can't, but trust me it's some awesome stuff) I've learned so much about my God that I never would have learned had things not gone so crazy all year...it's sort of the dessert in the middle of the desert...

I hope that this is of some encouragement to anyone else who feels like they're stuck in the wilderness! I know it helped me a great deal. I still feel like I'm stuck in the middle, but it's not so much wandering anymore to me, it's more of a waiting on God. And I'm willing to do that as long as I have to!

Praise His Holy Name!!!

God's Doodles

My grandma is a doodler. I'm not entirely sure that that's actually a word, but a doodler is one who doodles.

Ok, vocabulary out of the way, I can move on. :)

My grandma is a doodler. Whenever she's on the phone, she simply has to have a piece of paper near her to draw on. Her doodling is always the same; the profile of a woman with an up-do, and then a drawing of a dress, as a dressmaker might draw as a concept sketch. My personal favorite is when no paper is available. She finds a magazine and gives the models makeovers of eyeliner and longer eyelashes and bold lipliner. It's always the same.

I read somewhere (don't ask for the source, honestly I don't remember where I saw it), that doodling actually enhances our attention. When you're in a boring business meeting doodling your 1 millionth daffodil, you're actually retaining more information!

Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this.

The other day, I begged God for something to show me that He was still with me. I know He is, but sometimes I feel like He's just not listening. So there I was in the car, finally a moment of complete silence before continuing with my day. I pulled out of my parking spot and started on my way, turned the corner and saw one of the most breathtaking sights I've ever ever seen!

I honestly wish I had a camera to take this picture. It was a massive cloud with the sun in the middle. It looked as if the cloud was surrounding the sun on the sides and back... (the sun seemed to be inside the cloud), with the sunbeams pouring through the slits in the cloud. It was the closest my mind has ever come to what the throne of Christ might look like.

I'm always staring up at the clouds (or the stars). If I ever get into a car accident, you can bet a cloud was involved. Now, this isn't doctrine...I'm not claiming that this is something we all need to agree on, but it is just a thought.

Maybe the clouds are God's doodles?

Think about it. Clouds provide shade, and rain when God decides we need it. I can think of many other things that would have accomplished the same goal, but they didn't have to look so pretty, majestic, and fragile. And, being in Florida, we are blessed with all low-lying land and water on both coasts Because of this, we always have some sort of cloud, somewhere in the sky. But the clouds never ever ever look the same! I can't help but imagine God humming while he doodles. I mean, when we breathe, we take in life-giving oxygen and breathe out the aftermath...carbon dioxide. When God breathes, he breathes life into things...God breathed life into Adam. Into human beings...and we're so intricate, the best doctors in the world still haven't fully figured out how we work. And that's just breathing!

I don't think it's too far-fetched to think that God just feels like giving us amazingly beautiful creations that are different and wonderful every day, just because He wants to...

So, this sounds very fluffy and light, but I'm not kidding when I tell you to look at the clouds. Actually take the time to take it all in, look at the colors...only God can make gray look beautiful. Look at a sunset...God gets greens, blues, golds, yellows, pinks, and purples into a perfect spectrum, and it's not always how we learned it in school... (you know...ROY G. BIV)...If God wants a yellow next to a violet color...or an orange next to blue...He can, and He does!

So, seriously, take some time this week and take a look, and enjoy God's doodled post-card for you!

Stuck in a rut

Hello ladies,

I have to be honest with you all. Always have been, why stop now? I don't want to waste precious time with details, but my heart is heavy at the moment. I'm no longer depressed, by God's grace alone, but I lack the motivation to take the next step in my life. It also doesn't help that I don't know what that next step is supposed to be. All the next steps just seem too big for me.

But they aren't too big for God. I love writing on here because it makes me think things through. Though no one seems to be reading it right now, at least I am...

I simply feel overwhelmed right now. My days keep slipping away before I have a chance to do anything with them. I just wish time would stop for just a few moments so I could catch up. It's like walking with those dear friends of mine who have very long legs... one of their steps it like three of mine, so unless I'm nearly jogging, I fall behind.

That's where I'm at right now. I've fallen behind. I'm trying, though, to remember that God doesn't want us to compare ourselves to those around us. But I also need to get moving. Time's a-wastin'!

So, all of this just to say, please pray for me. Pray that God would give me the strength I need to get up and get going!

Love you all!

God is so Good!!!

Hello ladies!!!

This past week I was at youth camp. I know many of you were praying for me, and I can tell you your prayers were answered! I cannot begin to tell you how much God spoke to me through this week...ok I take that back...I can try to begin to tell you...teehee.

Let me start at the beginning. I was trying to get over a cold. I had no voice, and if I tried to laugh (which you all know I love to do!), I would start coughing nearly uncontrollably. But I was not about to let it stop me from keeping my commitment to this camp. Between that and my job situation, I simply wasn't sure if I would make it, but I simply prayed that if God didn't want me to go, He'd stop me. Well, He didn't stop me!

Now, you all don't know this, but when I start to lose my voice, the first thing to go is my laugh...then the next thing to go is my ability to sing. I already had a problem laughing, and I couldn't sing either, but I love few things in life more than singing worship songs. So, I prayed that God would somehow allow me to sing along in worship. We tried singing on the bus, in the dorms, anywhere else, and I couldn't. But, worship music started in services, and sure enough, I could sing without coughing! I was completely asymptomatic, so long as I was singing to my Jesus.

It gave me a peace in knowing that our Lord, not only inhabits the praises of His people, He will not inhibit their praises! It was amazing though... the second I tried to turn the attention to myself and my voice, it faded... as I focused on praising my Lord, I was able to without any problems. Now, I'm not sure that I was perfectly on key (lol), since I had no voice all the other times, but I do know that under any other circumstances, my singing would have made me cough uncontrollably. And I didn't! Praise God!

Then, of course, there was the material we studied. The entire theme was spiritual warfare. And I'll tell you what...the enemy DID NOT WANT us to learn this material. But by the Grace of God, and by His protection, we all learned so much about the power of God and the deception and weakness of satan. The devil was exposed for the weakling, good-for-nothing, toothless lion that he is. Many teens surrendered many areas of their lives to God. 39 students accepted Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. Truth was taught, Truth was learned. My prayer is that these amazing teenagers of ours will be able to teach us, their friends, and even their parents, a thing or two about their Glorious Jesus!

I feel so much closer to our teens after this week, and the Lord solidified in my heart that this is what He wants me to do. The heart I have for our teens (especially our girls), is huge. So many areas of my life have come full circle, and God revealed so many things in my heart. Now, the question is no longer, "what?" Now it's "How?" I know I will be relying on God fully during all of this, and I am trusting Him completely on this journey, but there are still some things I don't know.

I'm still looking for an income, but if I have to give up some things for the sake of God's plan for my life, I'm willing to do it! I know that being in God's Will is the safest place I can possibly be. When I consider that my eternity is, well, eternal...compared to it, my life on here is but a vapor! (Psalm 144:4).

God has given me the privilege and pleasure of enjoying so many beautiful things around me. I praise Him for delivering me from the darkness of the deep depression I was in, and for bringing me to a place of belonging and purpose!

Blind Spot Information Systems and Workout Playlists

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_Spot_Information_Systemformation_System
So, every time I see the commercials for this thing, and similar technologies (I believe Ford came out with one), I can't help but rant to myself...but why keep the genius thinking to myself?

God gave me a blind-spot detection system for free! It's called.... (drumroll please...)...a NECK!!! Just turn for a second before changing lanes...save yourself the money and use what God gave you! Stop trying to drive like you're in a spy movie and everything will be fine...teehee... ok I'm done ranting...for now...

Ok, so enough of that... I have a small update to make in the fitness area of my life. Tobymac is going to help me lose weight! (Man, how awesome would that be for him to do, I don't know, some sort of combo Tae Bo and Zumba class?) No, he's not personally helping me, but I took some of the faster, more extreme songs from his albums (the ones less likely to ever hit The Joy FM's day-time playlist), and put together a workout cd (with one track each from Jake Smith and the Crossing Live.)

The great thing about this cd is that, because I absolutely LOVE Tobymac (and, really, who doesn't?), I can exercise as long as Toby sings! currently the cd is 40 minutes long, but I can easily add more of his amazing stuff on there...the posibilities are endless...and yay for repeat features on cd players! HAHA!

So, I cannot wait to lose all this weight and be able to say Toby helped...maybe we can convince him to do a workout video? Hmmm....the wheels in my head are turning now!

An Itch for Updating

Hello to my sisters!

I've been incredibly busy this past week. Little things here and there, but finally getting my head back in the game. I refreshed some of my office skills at the church office helping out with a few projects. I was so grateful to them for giving me so much to do. It's nice to feel useful like I used to in my old jobs. Gotta love the binding machine! My favorite!!! Yes, I know, this makes me odd.

I also spent the weekend house-sitting. I had a blast with all three ladies of the house, and had a more relaxing weekend than I would have even had at home. It was a wonderful time of "chilaxing," playing Life, watching many many youtube music videos (yay Silly Songs!), and watching some documentary about the world's strongest toddler (kid's stonger than me, sheesh...ok, maybe not so much).

Sunday was the day we chose to celebrate my dad's birthday. Mom suggested that I take him to Anthony's Coal-Fired Pizza on 60. Since he wasn't in a very celebratory mood (is he really ever?), I honestly wasn't sure he'd go anywhere...much less a place he'd never been to. But I came home, went into my room, and said a little prayer. To my surprise (why was I surprised?), he VERY willingly came to the restaurant. It was a fun time with dad, daughter, and son. How wonderful it is to know that God even cares about the seemengly little prayers in our lives? :-)

On the slightly negative side, I think my knee is arthritic. I feel old, unable to walk in a normal fashion, though, praise God, it is feeling a little bit better. Yesterday was pretty intense, though, with quite a bit of pain that was hard to mask in the church. Luckily, I was surrounded by my church-family, which always brings me joy, so it was much easier to keep the smile on my face!

I love you all, my sweet sisters in Christ! I hope you realize just how important you all are to me. Each and every one of you have blessed me in some specific way, and you are more family to me than any of my own family. I've heard it said that friends are God's way of apologizing for family, but I disagree. I believe when we accept Christ, we become a part of His family, and we need to see our brothers and sisters in Christ like family and not just like friends. In fact, I think if we really saw it like that, there wouldn't be any church-hopping over petty differences and hurt feelings. If we realize that we'll be spending eternity together, we see eachother differently (ok, getting off my soap box now). And that is how I see you all... when I say sisters, I MEAN sisters! I never had a sister, but now that I'm getting older and more on my own, God has blessed me with tons of amazing sisters to love and be loved by. Praise Jesus!!!