If there's one thing I hate most about being human, it's not knowing what's next. I can deal with our mortality... especially since my soul will never die... I am fine with being limited, being finite, being small and insignificant to all but our all-knowing God. But what I simply cannot stand is not knowing what's next.
That's how I'm feeling right now. I'm at a complete stand-still in my life. I wish I knew exactly what was next. I wish I could know with all certainty that my business would take off miraculously, that someone would call me and offer me the employment opportunity of a lifetime. That somehow I could begin, soon, so live on my own. I wish I could know that I could soon stop being so dependent on my parents. I wish I could know that all my medical test results will come back negative. I wish I could know that I would be able to pay for my medical tests. I wish I could know what's causing all my aches, pains, and fatigue. I wish I wish I wish.
But one thing I do know. One thing that is the only sure thing. The ONLY sure thing. I don't even know that as I leave starbucks tonight I won't get hit by a car... I have no certainties in this life. None of us do. What can I be sure of? God will be with me.
God is the only unchanging one. El Olam, The Everlasting God. The same yesterday, today, and forever. THAT I can know for sure. Because He was with me from the beginning of my life, I know He will not leave me at the end of it, or in the middle of it, or around the corner from the next big thing, good or bad, that I have yet to face.
So while the rest of my life is in complete, utter turmoil, I can still hang onto my Rock, my Redeemer, my Jesus.
Thank You, Jesus, for never leaving or forsaking me! (Hebrews 13:5, Joshua 1:5, Deuteronomy 31:6)